


strange how we found ourselves exactly where we left off

by Alayea



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Gay yearning, I'm Bad At Summaries, Ill update tags as i go, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, aka i miss college and this is how i cope, once again we stan scorpia, well friends to enemies to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alayea/pseuds/Alayea
Summary: Catra's had a rough few years, had a rough life, honestly, but thing's seem to be looking up when she transfers to Etheria University her sophomore year of college. She's finally left her hometown, got a decent apartment, awesome roommates, and she might have even made some new friends. She hopes that, maybe, she can finally leave her past behind and have a fresh start.At least, until her neighbor turns out to be a familiar blonde from her past.AKACollege/Neighbors AU
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 164





	1. new girl

**Author's Note:**

> Why'd you cut up all your clothes?  
> Tell me something no one knows  
> I don't owe you anything  
> But you're too much fun to let it rain  
> Ain't it fun, remembering?
> 
> -New Girl, FINNEAS

Catra fumbles with the keys to her new apartment as she balances a moving box in her other hand. They jangle in her hand as she adjusts the box to rest against her hip. “Stupid key,” she mutters as she tries and fails to insert it into the keyhole. She growls, frustrated, and just about throws the keys down the hall. She finally gets it right with a sigh of relief when the door is yanked open from the other side. She stumbles forward and into a familiar form that quickly envelops her into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Catra! You’re here! Oh my gosh, I’m so happy!” 

“Hey, Scorpia,” Catra wheezes from where her face is squished between Scorpia’s muscular arms. “Yeah, yeah, I get it, you missed me.” She means to say it with venom, but there’s a softness in her voice she can’t entirely erase. Despite herself, a smile finds its way onto her lips. “Okay, okay, put me down! I can barely breathe.” 

“Oh, sorry!” Scorpia sets her down; she’d lifted her a good foot off the floor. One hand reaches behind her head to rub at the back of her short white undercut, and she looks away abashedly. “I know you like your personal space, I just got so excited that you’re here, and I’m here, and we’re roommates, and we’re going to EU, and-” 

“Scorpia,” Catra interrupts tersely. Scorpia looks at her again, and she lets herself return a small smile back. “It’s okay. I’m...excited to be here, too, or whatever.” 

Scorpia visibly brightens at that and brushes past her to the hall where she easily picks up two large moving boxes where Catra had struggled to lift one. “Here, let me help you with that.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Catra _is_ excited to be going to Etheria University, one of the most prestigious in the state, especially after working her way through her local community college in record time, transferring after only a year (she took summer and winter courses, not to mention the crapload of college courses she took in highschool) . But the drive here was long, and she’s tired, and she’s just had a bad feeling about today for some reason. 

She spares a glance around the apartment as she brings her box in. It’s pretty new-ish looking, with a decent sized kitchen and actual _windows,_ which was already way more than she had at her old place. The furniture is plain and basic, probably came with the apartment, but there’s a vase of vibrant flowers on the kitchen island. Catra wonders where they came from. Probably a house-warming gift for Scorpia from one of the many friends she’s no-doubt made in the week she’s been here before her. 

“Come on, let me give you a tour!” 

Catra scoffs. “It’s not that big of an apartment, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out,” she says, but she follows Scorpia anyway. 

“This is the kitchen, obviously, and these flowers are from Perfuma! I met her when I first moved in, she’s- she’s great! And this is the living room, and I’ve got some board games under the coffee table if you ever want to- y’know- and this is the bathroom!” Scorpia opens a door next to the kitchen before quickly slamming it close. “Oops! Haha… I guess I forgot to clean it, sorry, I’ll- uh…” Catra can’t help but smirk a little at Scorpia’s embarrassment.

“This is my room!” She opens another door, revealing a neat and tidy room. “I didn’t forget to clean that.” Scorpia chuckles at herself, and Catra raises an eyebrow. 

Then, Scorpia knocks on the door across from her. “Entrapta?”

A shrill, muffled voice from behind the door says, “Come in!”

Scorpia opens the door to a dark room, lit only by the computer screens in the corner, Entrapta a black silhouette in front of them. 

Scorpia speaks up. “Wow, it’s dark in here. Uh, hey, Entrapta, look who’s-” She’s shushed by Entrapta, who lifts a hand to signal “give me a sec,” while her other hand continues to type on her keyboard. Catra leans against the door frame as she waits for Entrapta to finish… whatever she’s doing. 

Entrapta suddenly springs around to face them. “Okay! I’m done with that for now. What’s up, Scorpia?” She blinks up at Scorpia, and then adds, “Oh, hi, Catra.” 

Catra snorts. “Hey, Entrapta.” Scorpia looks at her expectantly, and she rolls her eyes. “It’s good to see you,” she says, even though she knows that Entrapta doesn’t really care about these types of pleasantries. But Scorpia’s been teaching Catra how to “be a good friend,” or whatever, and she knows that she’d get an earful if she didn’t play nice. 

They leave Entrapta to her work and spend the next half hour or so bringing the rest of Catra’s stuff in, including Melog. As soon as she opens the crate, he basically runs to Scorpia and butts his head against her leg. 

Scorpia bends down and rubs his head affectionately. “Aw, hi, little guy? Did you miss me?” Melog meows in return. Catra tries to hide the smile that creeps onto her face by turning and setting the box she’s holding down on the floor of her room.

“I think that’s everything,” she says. She didn’t really bring that much stuff. Clothes, bedding, toiletries, a few band posters to hang up. She didn’t have much to call her own. Not that she minds. She’s not sentimental like that. 

She glances at a box labeled “ ~~Catra’s memories~~ DO NOT TOUCH.” She silently kicks it under her bed where she doesn’t have to look at it, and gets to work unpacking. 

A few hours later, she’s done unpacking and is lying on her bed, petting Melog and trying (and failing) to beat a level in a game on her phone when she hears a knock on her door. “Yeah,” she says as she watches her little avatar get crushed under spikes. She groans and drops her phone onto her face. 

“Hey, Wildcat,” Scorpia pokes her head into her room. “I forgot to tell you earlier, but the neighbors invited us out tonight! You know, to a party. Entrapta’s busy, but I know you like parties and thought it might be good for you- us- to get out and…” She trails off but keeps Catra’s gaze. She can hear the unspoken words behind it, though. _It’d be good for you to make other friends, too._

Catra slides her phone off her face so she can glare more effectively at Scorpia. 

“Please?” 

…

“Ugh, fine! But I’m gonna complain the whole time.” Catra sits up and pulls Melog into her lap and looks at him instead of Scorpia. 

“Yes! This’ll be so fun! We’re leaving at 10, so be ready!” Scorpia closes the door behind her as she leaves. 

Catra checks the time on her phone. 8:23. That gives her enough time to take a quick nap before they leave so that she doesn’t pass out while they’re out. And she’s dead tired right now. She sighs and pulls her blanket up to her neck. Melog quickly curls up at her side. She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to quiet her thoughts before she falls asleep. 

She stirs when there’s a knock at her door. 

“Catra? We’re gonna leave soon, are you ready?” She hears the door squeak open. “Catra? Are you sleeping?” Scorpia’s voice is incredulous. “We’re about to leave!” 

Catra groans, but sits up, groggy and mouth dry. “I know. Just... give me a minute.” She resists the urge to shoot Scorpia a piercing glare and instead gulps some water from the bottle on her nightstand. She feels sweaty, gross, and tired. She checks the time. 9:55. She groans again and looks at Scorpia. “Get out so I can change.” She tries to keep her tone neutral, but she’s tired and it bites more than she wants it to. 

Still, Scorpia smiles and closes the door, apparently just happy that Catra was still coming out with her. Even if she was in a bad mood and would probably ruin it (like she does with everything). 

She gets up and looks at herself in the closet mirror. She looks… tired. Her eyes are puffy with sleep and her short hair has a serious case of bed-head. She sighs and runs her hands through it to attempt to smooth it out. _At least I don't have to brush it anymore_ , she thinks, which is one of the few perks she’s found since she chopped all her hair off just a few months ago. She still wasn’t quite used to it. 

She changes out of her sweats so that she doesn’t look like she just rolled out of bed, but she doesn’t care enough to actually put effort into her outfit. A pair of leggings and a ripped up band tee that she’d cut to be cropped. It’ll do. 

She comes out of her room to see Scorpia in the front doorway, chatting amicably with the people on the other side. She walks to her side and gets a view of who she’s talking with. A girl with short purple hair wearing a bright purple top covered in sparkly sequins stands next to a boy with dark skin in a heart-covered crop top. _These_ are her neighbors? Catra raises a judgemental eyebrow. 

“Yeah, and Perfuma was telling me- Oh, Catra! There you are. Guys, this is Catra, she’s super cool!” Scorpia introduces her and 3 pairs of eyes turn to her. 

“I’m Bow! It’s nice to meet you.” The boy smiles brilliantly at Catra and waves. 

“Glimmer,” says the purple-haired one. 

Catra crosses her arms and leans against the doorway, unimpressed. “Sup,” she says, keeping her face and voice blank. Bow seems unbothered, but Glimmer frowns at her. 

“Okay!” Scorpia interrupts the weird silence that settles over them. “Are we ready to go?” 

The walk to the party is long and boring, according to Catra. Scorpia and Bow, however, are chatting up a storm where they are walking in front of her. She overhears a snippet of their conversation. 

“Our other roommate, Entrapta, was super busy so she couldn’t make it out. Well, that, and she’s not really a party person,” Scorpia says. 

“I get that. Our roommate is busy, too, but usually she comes with us to these types of things.”

“Oh, I remember her! What was her name again?”

Catra’s eavesdropping is interrupted as Glimmer sidles up to Catra. 

“Sooooo,” Glimmer says as she walks by her side. Catra crosses her arms instinctively. “Scorpia says you’re a poli-sci major, is that right?” 

Catra doesn’t look at her and instead glares straight ahead. “Yeah.” The silence that follows is awkward as Glimmer waits for her to continue. She doesn’t. 

“Uh, well, I’m a physics major.” 

“That’s great.” 

More silence. “Where are you from?” 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Sparkles,” Catra snaps. The shock on Glimmer’s face gives her a cruel sense of satisfaction. 

“What is your problem!? I’m just trying to make conversation!” Glimmer bites back, anger quickly rising and showing on her face. 

“Yeah, well, I’m not in the mood for conversation.” It comes out low and growly as Catra clenches her teeth. Glimmer makes a strangled noise of frustration and stomps up to walk next to Bow and Scorpia, leaving Catra to walk alone behind the 3 of them. She looks up to find Scorpia looking at her over her shoulder, worryingly. Whatever satisfaction Catra got from that interaction immediately leaves her, replaced with a sad sense of guilt that sits like a rock in her stomach. Scorpia falls back to walk with her. 

“Everything okay, Wildcat?” She asks, concern lacing her tone, her stupid nickname for Catra simultaneously annoying and comforting her. 

“No,” Catra says through gritted teeth. She sighs when Scorpia looks at her expectantly. “I just-” 

She doesn’t get a chance to finish before Glimmer announces ahead of them, “We’re here!” She turns and, despite what happened, looks at both of them cheerfully. 

Flashing lights and music pour out of the windows of the house in front of them. Blurry silhouettes move to the music behind the windows and people are loitering outside. It gives Catra a small jolt of excitement. It’s been a really long time since she’s been out. 

“Hey guys! Over here!” A skinny blonde pushes through the crowd of people standing in front of the front door. 

“Perfuma!” Bow wraps his arm around Perfuma and squeezes. Glimmer joins and sandwiches her between them. 

“Thanks for inviting us, Perfuma! This is gonna be so awesome!” 

They release their hold on her, and Bow steps back to gesture to Catra and Scorpia.

“These are our new neighbors, Catra and-” 

“Scorpia,” Perfuma finishes for him. She rushes to stand directly in front of Scorpia. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Oh, wow, hi, Perfuma, you look- I mean, wow, you look- uh, great!” Scorpia stutters through more compliments and, even though it’s dark, Catra can see her cheeks darkening. She raises an eyebrow. 

Eventually, Perfuma turns to her. “Hi, I’m Perfuma. It’s nice to meet you!” She extends a hand for Catra to take. 

“Catra,” she says, glancing between a smiling Perfuma and a blushing Scorpia. She smirks. _Obvious, much?_

Perfuma leads them through the throng of drunk college students until they arrive in the kitchen. She gets to work pouring them drinks, and Catra wonders if this is her house or if she’s just been here enough that she knows where everything is. Everyone takes their cup, and Catra sniffs hers. “What is this?” 

“Vodka lemonade! There’s beer in the cooler if that’s not your thing, though.” Catra takes a cautionary sip and finds it actually tastes pretty good, even though she tries not to drink fruity drinks in public. She watches Glimmer grimace at the taste of alcohol and snickers. Glimmer bristles, but Bow puts a hand on her shoulder and calms her down. He sends a nervous smile to Catra. 

Perfuma’s voice catches her attention. “Scorpia, come with me! I have something to show you!” She takes Scorpia’s hand in both of hers and pulls her away. 

“Oh! Um, okay, uh, guys! I’ll find you later!” She shoots Catra a look that means _“I’m sorry, please get along”_ before she disappears around the corner. 

Catra turns to look at Bow and Glimmer. She could put up with them as long as Scorpia was there, but without her? Catra scoffs and turns away, leaving them in the kitchen. Whatever. She’s been to plenty of parties alone. 

She ends up leaning against a wall in the living room, tapping her foot to the bad techno they were blasting from the speaker and watching everyone drunkenly stumble over each other and dance. She takes her time nursing her drink and tries not to be mad at Scorpia for leaving her. She knows that Scorpia would be supportive if their roles were reversed, and she’s trying, so that has to count for something. Still, she can’t help the simmer of anger in her that stops her from dancing and keeps her brows knitted together. 

Soon enough, her cup is empty, and she can’t feel it, like, at all. She begrudgingly moves from her spot on the wall and back to the kitchen where she pours herself another cup with more vodka, less lemonade. This time, the taste almost makes her wince. Almost. She goes to resume her place in the living room, but the DJ must have just played a popular song because it’s way more packed than before, and it’s suddenly too hot and humid for Catra. Usually, she would have joined the crowd, but she’s in a weird mood tonight, she guesses. She heads to the back door to get some air. 

The fresh air is cool against her skin compared to how warm and sweaty it was inside the house. She allows herself a second to breathe it in and looks around the backyard. There are string lights lacing from the roof of the house to the back fence, some people standing around and talking, a group gathered around a game of beer pong, and- Glimmer, alone, and leaning against the fence. 

Catra almost turns back around and heads back inside, except… Glimmer is alone at a party. And, sure, Catra is also alone at a party, and has been plenty of times, but that just means she knows it’s not super ideal. Plus, she feels a little bad for being rude earlier. Only a little.

She walks up to her, and Glimmer doesn’t even notice until she speaks.

“You know, you shouldn’t be alone at these things, Glitter. Could be dangerous.” Catra plants a relaxed smirk on her face. 

Glimmer blinks, then reflects Catra’s expression. “Yeah? Well, you’re alone, too.” 

Catra chuckles bitterly. “Yeah,” she says, before holding her cup out in front of her. “Cheers to that.” 

Glimmer hesitates, but eventually knocks her almost-empty cup against hers. “Cheers,” she says, and then tips it back, polishing it off. Catra takes a gulp of her drink and goes to lean against the fence next to her. 

“So, where’s _boytoy_? Lover’s quarrel?” 

Glimmer starts and looks like she’s about to protest, but then just sighs. “Bow had an emergency and had to leave. He asked Scorpia and Perfuma to stay with me, but I was obviously the third wheel there.” Glimmer stares hard at the ground. “I’m… not good at these things alone. Without Bow or…” Her grip tightens on her cup, and she lifts it to drink, only to realize it’s empty. 

Catra looks at her and knows that she knows _exactly_ how she is feeling right now. She bumps her shoulder with hers and offers her a genuine smile. “Come on, let’s get you another drink.” 

Before long, Catra is back in the living room, dancing along to the trashy pop blasting through the speakers, and Glimmer’s dancing too, and now she can definitely feel the alcohol in her system, and her face is hot, and her head is too heavy and too light all at once, and her limbs feel just a little out of control. She bounces to the music and revels in the feeling of just _having fun_ , something that she doesn’t remember feeling in a long time. She looks at Glimmer, who’s swaying and nodding her head aggressively to the song, yelling lyrics that are definitely wrong. The sight makes Catra double over with laughter, almost spilling her drink. That makes Glimmer laugh too, and she actually spills her drink. 

“Aw, no! Hold on, I’m gonna go get a- another… more,” she slurs, and starts to stumble her way to the kitchen. Catra sobers up slightly and grabs her arm. 

“I’m not so sure that’s a great idea, Sparkles.” Her smile is still plastered onto her face and she can’t seem to get it to go away. 

Scorpia appears out of nowhere. “Oh, my gosh, Glimmer, are you okay? Catra, is she good?” Scorpia is holding onto Glimmer’s shoulders like she could topple over at any second and her eyebrows are scrunched together. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re _fine_ , Scorpia.” She swats Scorpia’s hands away. “I’m gonna help Glimmer get home.” 

Catra hears Glimmer make a small noise of protest, but she ignores it. 

“Oh, okay, let me just-” 

“No, no, no, no, no, Scorpia.” She ignores the way her words slur together. “You. You stay here. Have fun with Perfuma,” she draws out her words and ends with a wink, which makes herself cackle. 

It makes Scorpia shoot up to stand straight. Her cheeks quickly turn bright pink. “Wh- Perfuma and I- We-” 

But Catra’s already walking out the door. “Have fun getting laid!” she yells over her shoulder, which makes both Catra and Glimmer split into peals of laughter. 

The walk home seems a lot longer than the walk there (partly because Catra keeps taking the wrong turns. She’s just moved in, give her a break). It’s also filled with small conversations and questions like “Did we have to leave so early?” (“It’s one in the morning, Sparkles”) and “Do you think Scorpia and Perfuma hooked up?” (“I’d be surprised if they didn’t”) and “Do you think Bow likes me? Wait, don’t answer that,” (“Why, do you like him?” “No!” “You totally do!” “Shut up!”) and lots of laughter at nothing and at everything. Catra absentmindedly thinks about how she had had a bad feeling about today, and how she was _so_ wrong, because she’s had a blast and maybe even made a new friend. Which is a lot more than she can say for the last couple months. Or even years, for that matter. 

By the time they get to the apartment, Glimmer is practically asleep and is leaning onto Catra to stay upright. 

“Okay, we’re here,” she says as they approach her apartment. She’s thankful that hers is right across from Glimmer’s. She’d probably pass out in the hallway if it was much further. 

Glimmer pats the pockets of her shorts before whining and slumping further against Catra. “I don’t have my key!” 

Catra rolls her eyes and groans. “You’d better hope your roommates are awake, Sparkles,” she says, but despite her words, there’s no bite to it. She knocks on the door as loud as she can, and she hears barking from the other side. “Huh, you didn’t tell me you had a dog.” 

“It’s not mine, it’s-” 

And then the door opens. 

Catra sobers instantly as a spear of ice, or maybe fire, shoots down her spine as she sucks in a harsh breath through her teeth. 

She’s frozen where she is, and she can’t stop looking. Because _she’s_ here. She’s here, and she’s Glimmer’s roommate, and she’s her _neighbor_ , and she’s standing in the open doorway wearing red shorts and a white and gold hoodie, and she’s still got her hair tied up in a ponytail with a dumb little hair poof, just like she always used to. 

Catra realizes she was right about having a bad feeling about today.

“Yay! You’re here!” Glimmer flings herself out of Catra’s arms and barrels into the other’s.

The movement is enough to bring Catra out of whatever trance she was in. She closes her eyes and assumes a collected stance and crosses her arms, weighted on one leg. She brings a smirk to her lips, but it feels cold, and her heart is hammering so hard in her chest that she’s scared that someone else might hear it. 

When she opens her eyes again, they lock onto piercing blue ones, and she wills her voice to be level as she forces it out from under the lump that had grown in her throat. 

“Hey, Adora.” 


	2. all but forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All but forgotten  
> About those eyes  
> The shade of green that if he'd seen would make F. Scott Fitzgerald cry  
> But I won't  
> Break down at two A.M. and call  
> 'Cause I don't  
> Miss you at all"
> 
> \- I don't miss you at all by FINNEAS

Adora thinks that somehow, she’s forgotten how to breathe. The tightness in her chest squeezes at her lungs and at her heart, which has simultaneously dropped to her stomach and jumped to her throat. She tries to swallow it back down but it gets caught, and she’s stuck with an uncomfortable lodge in the back of her mouth that almost makes her gag. Her eyes are glued to mismatched ones that draw her into their familiarity, and she can’t tear them away no matter how hard she tries. She doesn’t blink. Doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. 

She doesn’t snap out of it when Glimmer throws herself into her arms. She catches her, of course, and the weight puts her slightly off balance, but she doesn’t dare look away from those blue and gold eyes. She thinks that, maybe, she might not ever be able to stop looking, or that the moment she does the floor will come out from under her and she’ll fall forever. 

“Hey, Adora.” Composed. Smooth.  _ Familiar _ .

Somehow, she snaps out of it. 

“Catra,” she heaves, and it somehow feels safe and sharp at the same time. 

The floor doesn’t give out, but she’s suddenly drinking in Catra’s appearance like she’s dying in a desert and she is the mirage of an oasis.  _ Catra.  _ She’s leaning her weight on one leg, her arms crossed across her chest. The ripped  _ blink-182 _ shirt she’s wearing reveals an enticing view of the tan skin of her stomach. Her casual lop-sided smile sits lazily on her face, as if she had been expecting to see her, as if she had planned it, as if it hadn’t been 3 years, as if Adora hadn’t spent those 3 years trying (and failing) to block out any and every thought of her. An unusually sharp canine pokes into her bottom lip. Freckles dot her cheeks and Adora has to fight the urge to count them, and…

“...You cut your hair,” she states, dumbly. She mentally kicks herself for letting that be the first thing she says to her after everything. 

To her surprise, Catra actually starts laughing. That long dramatic laugh that Adora knows she reserves for her most vicious moods. She tries to ignore the fire that it ignites in her. “Wow, Adora. You’re such a keen observer. Ever think about becoming a detective, Sherlock?” 

“Catra,” she says again, this time feeling a lot more like barbed wire in her mouth. “What are you doing here?” 

“Catra saved me!” Glimmer pipes up from her arms. The sound startles Adora, and she almost drops her. In all honesty, she had kind of forgotten she was there. 

“Saved you…?” She looks into those eyes again, determined now not to fall into her earlier stupor, “What happened? Is Glimmer okay? Why is she with you? Where is Bow? ” Questions that she didn’t even know she wanted to ask shoot off her tongue rapid fire. 

Catra’s cocky smile stays on her face. “Relax, Princess,” Adora tries to ignore the way her breath hitches, “Sparkles here apparently can’t hold her alcohol. Had to get her home before she spilled another drink all over herself. Or all over me. And I figured I might as well since I live-” 

“Catra!” A voice from down the hall makes them all turn to look. Bow is jogging up to them with a concerned look on his face. “Catra, Glimmer’s not responding to my texts, do you know if she got home? Did you see where she went? I should have never left her alone!” he said as he reached them, panic evident in the way his voice cracked with every other word. 

“Bow!” Glimmer stumbles out of Adora’s arms and into Bow’s. Bow catches her, barely, and laughs in relief. 

“Glimmer, thank God! Why didn’t you respond to any of my texts?”

“Sorry,” Glimmer says through drunken giggles. “Phone died. But it’s totally okay ‘cause Catra saved me!” 

Bow sighs, then looks to Catra. “Thanks for getting her home, Catra. I owe you one.” 

_Why is everyone acting like everything is okay? How can anyone be calm when_ Catra _is right here?_ _How are they just talking like this is normal?_ Adora thinks as her heart hammers in her chest. _Oh, right. Because they don’t know about her. Because you kept her a secret._

“No problem, Arrow Boy,” she says, but when Adora looks back at her, Catra’s eyes are still locked with hers. Adora swallows, and there’s a heaviness in the air for a few infinite seconds. 

“Uh,” Bow pipes up, “So, I guess you’ve finally met! Adora, this is our new neighbor, Catra,”  _ Neighbor!?  _ “And Catra, this is our roommate Adora.” 

“Oh, you didn’t know? Me and Adora go way back. What, never bothered to mention me, Princess?” Catra never leaves Adora’s eyes, but something shifts behind them, and they suddenly go from a blazing hot fire to cold, hard ice. 

“Oh. I-uh… I didn’t know that…” Bow trails off and looks back and forth between the two, trying to decipher the puzzle that’s coming apart in front of him. 

Adora feels her mouth go dry as she stares back at Catra. “I…” She doesn’t know where to go from there. What can she say? Her mind runs through a million things she should say, and a million and one things she shouldn’t. There’s nothing she can say that can do justice to those 3 long years, that can explain everything she’s felt, everything she’s feeling. So she settles on gaping silently at Catra, whose gaze hardens and steels as the seconds pass by. 

“Well,” Finally,  _ finally,  _ (tragically) Catra’s eyes break from Adora’s and looks to the mess of Glimmer in Bow’s arms. “Sparkles and I sure had a blast, but I think it’s time for me to turn in.” She shrugs casually and turns around, and Adora wonders if she had imagined the icy look on her face just moments before.

She wonders, until Catra spits, “See you ‘round,  _ Princess _ ,” full of venom and spite and hate that shoots through Adora’s center and leaves her feeling cold. She watches Catra’s form stride across the hall, eyes following that confident gait she’s so familiar with. She doesn’t look away until long after Catra closes the door to her own apartment, and even then she only does because Bow is trying to talk to her. 

“What was that?” He says from behind her. When had he come in the apartment? 

“What?” Adora finally turns around. Glimmer’s no longer with him. He must have put her to bed. How long had she been staring? 

“That.” Bow gestures to the hallway. Adora quickly closes the door. “That was… weird. Do you and Catra have… history, or something?” 

_ Or something,  _ Adora thinks, bitterly. 

“It’s nothing,” she lies, “just someone I… We used to know each other.”

Bow clearly doesn’t buy it. He raises an eyebrow at her. “Uh… okay. I’m gonna pretend like I believe that’s all.” Adora panics for a moment, but Bow lays a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “We’ll talk whenever you’re ready.” 

Adora smiles gratefully at him. “Thanks, Bow.” 

He smiles back at her before heading to his own room. When he’s gone, Adora sighs, and it feels like she’s been holding her breath. 

_ Catra _ is her neighbor.  _ Catra _ , her ex-best friend.  _ Catra,  _ who she has not spoken to in 3 years.  _ Catra _ , who has always been in the back of her mind.  _ Catra, _ someone she… 

Adora clenches her fist and doesn’t finish her thought. She grinds her teeth in an effort to stop thinking about it.  _ It doesn’t matter. It’s not like we have to see each other all the time. We can just go back to avoiding each other, and everything will stay the same.  _

But does she really want that? 

  
  
  


* * *

_ 1st Grade _

  
  


“Adora!” 

Adora turns to the sound of her name being called, distracted from the game of Bubblegum she’s currently playing, huddled in a circle with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio on the school playground. She sees a form with a wild mane of long brown hair and two different-colored, tear-filled eyes running up to her, cradling her arm. She immediately abandons the game, despite the others’ protests, and runs to her. 

“Catra!” When she reaches her, she puts her hands on her shoulders.“What happened?” 

Catra sniffs grossly and wipes at her eyes with her palms. Her voice is rubbery when she speaks. “Octavia cheated at Four Square, so I called her a dumbface. And scratched her eyeball. But then she pushed me! Am I bleeding?” she asks, sticking her arm out for Adora to inspect. 

She takes her arm. “You’re not bleeding, Catra,” she says, and then a thoughtful pause. “Did she cheat or did she just beat you?” 

Catra yanks her arm away and glares at Adora. “She cheated! She totally hit the line!” She crosses her arms and huffs. 

Adora just laughs and holds out her hand. “Where is she?” 

Catra takes her hand and leads her to where Octavia is. She’s still playing Four Square, but they’ve replaced Catra’s spot. Adora feels Catra squeeze her hand. 

“Hey, Octavia,” she says, in her best hero voice. Octavia was a 5th grader, which makes her a big-kid but she’s also a  _ big kid _ . She’s as tall as some grown-ups Adora knows. Still, Adora puffs her chest and inhales a big breath before saying, right to her face, “You’re a dumbface!” 

Octavia roars and throws the ball she’s holding away as she starts after them. Adora squeals and tugs Catra along as they race away. Their screams turn into laughter as they race around the playground. At some point, Octavia gives up, but Catra and Adora are too preoccupied running to really notice. When the bell rings, signaling an end to recess, Adora’s hair is mostly out of its usually neat ponytail, and Catra has a skinned knee that stings a little, but they are energized and giddy and Adora can’t stop bouncing in her seat. 

Catra passes her a folded piece of ripped paper under their shared desk during class. Adora is careful to open it silently and not catch the teacher's attention. It reads, in bad handwriting: 

“thenk U fer helpn me at reeses” 

Adora glances up to make sure the teacher isn't looking before bending over her desk to scratch out a reply. 

“We luk out fer ich other :) wer best frends frever and ever” 

She drops her hand between their chairs when she’s done and slips it into Catra’s. She watches her brow furrow as she reads it and as she sticks her tongue out in concentration while she writes a response. She slides it across the table without looking. Adora opens it. 

“promise?” is written with care, different from Catra’s usual chicken scratch. Adora thinks she must have tried really hard to spell it right. 

Adora smiles as she writes down her answer. 

“Pardon the interruption, Mr. Leech.” A harsh voice makes her sit bolt upright and stuff the note in her pocket. Everyone turns to the door of the classroom where Principal Hordak stands in his pristine gray suit. There was a rumor among the first graders that he was a robot that eats kids’ souls. Adora isn’t sure if it’s true or not, but she’s scared of him regardless. Octavia stands behind him wearing a smug smile on her face. 

“I’d like to speak to Catra and Adora in my office.” 

Adora feels the heat of shame rise in her face as all eyes turn to her and feels Catra stiffen beside her. She quietly gets out of her seat, keeping her gaze down. Catra stays frozen in her seat until Adora puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes. Catra looks up at her, and she looks just as scared as her. But Adora gives her a reassuring smile, and Catra reluctantly stands and follows her out of the classroom. They make sure to give Octavia a cold glare as they pass, and they hold hands the whole walk to the main office. When they get there, Adora looks at the sign on the wall that she knows reads “Horde Preparatory K-8” because Hope had made her memorize it before she started school. 

They take their seats in chairs that are too big for them inside Hordak’s office. Despite the bare white walls and fluorescent lights, the room feels dark and cold. Adora attempts to keep a brave face as Principal Hordak sits at his desk, but she can feel the pressure of tears start to build behind her eyes. She looks at the girl in the chair beside her. Catra is staring straight ahead with a bored look as Hordak takes his seat behind his desk. To most people, it would look like Catra was indifferent and unafraid. 

But Adora knows Catra, and she can see the way her hands bunch up the fabric of her jeans on her knees and the way her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly. For a moment, Adora forgets where she is and wants nothing more than to wrap the girl up in a hug and not let go until Catra pushes her off, like she always does. 

But Hordak’s gruff, unfriendly voice catches her attention. 

“Catra.” She can see the girl narrow her eyes in her periphery. “Octavia has claimed that you berated her and physically assaulted her at recess. Is this true?” 

Adora doesn’t know what “berated” or “assaulted” means, but she guesses that it’s something close to calling her a dumbface and scratching her eye. Beside her, Catra says nothing, so Adora speaks up instead. 

“It wasn’t just her, Mr. Principal Hordak, it was my idea to-” 

“I wasn’t speaking to you.” 

Adora clamps her mouth shut and looks at her hands as she squeezes them in her lap. Catra doesn’t make a sound. When Adora dares to look up, she sees Hordak glowering menacingly at Catra, and she wonders if the rumors about him eating souls really were true. 

When Catra doesn’t answer, Hordak hums hoarsely and lifts some papers from his desk to study. Hordak turns his eyes to Adora and she immediately sits up. “Adora, since this is your first offense, I will let you off with a warning. Do not let this happen again.” Adora, frozen in her seat, can do nothing but nod. 

“Catra, however,” Hordak turns back to Catra, and although his face is stoic, Adora thinks she can hear wicked amusement in his voice. “According to your file, you’ve caused three disruptions this week alone. I will have to call your parents and discuss disciplinary actions.” 

Adora flinches as Catra shouts in alarm. “What!? That’s not fair! Dumb Octavia started it! Why isn’t she getting in trouble? I didn’t do anything!” 

But Hordak ignores her tantrum as he looks over her file. “It seems the only guardian we have on file is a ‘Sharon Weaver,’ is that correct?” 

Catra loses her bravado, and Adora can see the way her eyes widen and her hands shake with the force she’s gripping her jeans. Hordak seems to take that as a yes and picks up the old telephone on his desk. 

“Very well. You may wait in the hall while I call. Adora, I’ll have a supervisor escort you back to class.”

Adora doesn’t have to be told twice. She was ready to leave the ominous office the moment she stepped foot in it. She hops off her chair, ready to make her escape, but Catra is still sitting in her chair, looking at her lap with the same wide-eyed expression as before. Adora hesitates before placing her hand over Catra’s. Blue and gold eyes snap up to meet hers. 

“Catra, come on. We’ve got to go.” 

Catra doesn’t move right away, just stares into and past Adora as if she didn’t know she was there. Then, she’s wrenching her hand away from Adora’s and rushing past her out the door, leaving her to trail behind. 

“Catra, wait!” She calls out after her and follows her into the hall. Catra sits on the floor against the wall, hugging her knees and sniffling softly. Adora slides down next to her, pressing their shoulders together. Almost as soon as she does, Catra shoves her away and she falls onto the hard linoleum. “Hey!”

But Catra isn’t looking at her and is instead burying her head in her knees. “Stupid Octavia! Stupid principal! Stupid school! I’m always getting in trouble for no reason!” Her voice rattles and the breaths she takes between words are short and sharp and shake her shoulders. 

Adora decisively takes her place back by Catra’s side, but she isn’t pushed away this time. Instead, she instinctively wraps her arms around her shoulders and squeezes her closer. She lays her head on top of Catra’s and runs her fingers through her messy hair, getting caught on knots and tangles as Catra cries into her shoulder. They stay like that until her sobs become nothing more than the occasional gross sniff of her snot back into her nose. Adora can see the supervisor Hordak promised looking around the hall for her. She gently pushes Catra back so she can look her in the face. 

“Hey,” she starts softly, until Catra’s mismatched eyes, red and glossy, meet hers. Adora offers her a sure smile. “It doesn’t matter what they do to us. You look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.” She squeezes her shoulders as Catra’s eyes dart between hers, searching for… something. 

“You promise?” Catra asks after a sniff. 

At that phrase, Adora perks up and digs a hand into her pocket to pull out the note she had stuffed there earlier. She takes one of Catra’s hands and places the folded paper in it, and Catra carefully unfolds the note and reads it. 

“I promise,” Adora says, assuredly, echoing the words she had written earlier. 

“Adora Sheerer?” Adora whirls around at the sound of her name. It was the supervisor. “It’s time to go back to class, honey.” 

She turns back to Catra, who is still looking at the note in her hand as if she had just handed her the world.

“I have to go now, Catra.” At that, Catra’s head jerks up, her eyes pleading  _ please don’t leave me. _ Adora’s eyebrows furrow, and there’s a feeling in her chest that makes her want to stay here with Catra, no matter what, but then the supervisor’s hand is on her back and is pushing her toward the door. Adora doesn’t look away from Catra the whole time she’s being ushered away. She wants to say something, anything, to reassure her, to comfort her, to let her know that it will be alright and that she would always be there for her. 

But she’s at the door all too soon, and the last thing she sees before it swings shut behind her is Catra clutching the note to her chest like it belongs in her heart. 

Adora won’t know for a long time, but when Catra goes home that day, not for the last time, she’s faced with the cruel and ruthless punishment of her caretaker. But for the first time, Catra thinks that maybe,  _ maybe _ , it was worth it, if she got to see Adora smile the way that she did, carefree and laughing, as they ran, if she got to hold on to her hand as tightly as she did as they walked to the office, if she got to hug her while she ran her fingers through her hair as she cried, and if she got to keep the promise they made to each other. 

  
  


* * *

Catra yanks that stupid box out from under her bed, trying to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling.  _ Don’t fucking cry over this. How weak. How pathetic. You’re pathetic,  _ the amalgamate of malicious voices in her head yell at her. She growls, forcing them down as she digs through the box filled with random trinkets and seemingly meaningless momentos until she finds what she’s looking for. She doesn’t know why she felt the need to find this specific thing, but it was the only thing she could think of as soon as she closed the door to the apartment behind her. A scrap of paper, a little dirty, a lot worn-out, folded over itself into a square at the bottom of the box. She quickly tears it open and stares at the messy, misspelled words written on it. 

She squeezes her fists around the paper, and it crinkles as Catra’s grip on it tightens until she can feel her sharp nails digging into her palm.

“promise?” 

“I promise <3” 

As soon as the first tear hits the paper, Catra lets herself go. She curls around herself and cries, sobs wracking her body. She allows herself this weakness for a while, until the fire of rage and hate that had warmed her for years sparks to life again and the hot burn of tears on her face give way to boiling anger in her stomach. Suddenly, all she can feel is the same fury and pain and  _ betrayal _ she had felt three years ago, just as powerful and overwhelming as they were on that day. She raises her head and lets her unfocused eyes roam over the paper, until the heat in her stomach reaches her fingers.  _ I should have done this years ago.  _ With a cry, she rips the paper in two. 

As soon as she does, the fire inside her is put out, and she’s left with the dull ache of regret. She stares at the two halves of old paper in her hand, numbly. Melog rubs against her side. She drops the paper and runs her fingers through his soft fur until her breathing evens out. 

“Oh, Melog. What the fuck is wrong with me?” 

_ A lot of shit, _ she imagines his voice in her head. 

She lets out an empty laugh. “Yeah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for your patience! Hopefully next chapter will be out soon but who knows not me!
> 
> seriously thank you all for your positive feedback! keep it comin lol! it really keeps me motivated


	3. i've built a fortress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You don't get in my brain  
> You don't fill up the spaces  
> I don't whisper your name  
> Now that I've built a fortress"  
> -Fortress by Lennon Stella

Adora stares at the coffee swirling in her mug as she sits at the kitchen counter, trying and failing to keep thoughts of the night before out of her mind. Last night, after she had finally picked herself up from where she had been glued to the spot, sleeping had been… challenging, to say the least. She had stayed up, tossing and turning, unable to stop her mind from running with memories that she had pushed out of her mind for three years. Two little girls running around each other on the blacktop at recess. Goofy faces made from across the field to make each other lose focus when they stepped up to bat. Last minute sleepovers and whispers in the dark late at night. Afternoon sunlight catching on long brown curls and tan skin. Mornings spent pretending to still be asleep in each other's arms. Promises made and promises broken. 

Blue and yellow eyes, a burning flame within them as she stood in front of her doorway.

Adora takes a sip of her coffee and tries to forget. 

A groan catches her attention. “Ugh, my head hurts so bad. I hate hangovers,” Glimmer says as she drudges into the kitchen, Swiftwind circling her heels. “Bow, don’t ever let me drink again,” she says as she bends down to run a hand over Swifty’s soft white fur. Her pink hair is sticking up in all directions and covered in cowlicks. She has bags under her eyes, and she holds her head in pain. She looks like shit. Adora is silently grateful that she’d managed to avoid going out last night, because she gets the worst hangovers out of everyone she knows. She’s spent countless post-party mornings alternating between puking her guts out and trying to will the pounding headache in her skull to just kill her already (comforted by a certain girl with mismatched eyes who would stroke her back and tease/scold her for drinking too much). Having to deal with that alongside the major crisis she’s having would make her already long and arduous morning even longer and more arduous. Adora isn’t sure she’d be able to survive it. 

“You say that every time, but whenever I try to stop you, you don’t listen!” Bow says from the other side of the kitchen island. 

“I’m still mad at you for leaving me last night,” Glimmer says with a pout. 

Bow just smiles back at her. “I made you breakfast,” he bribes, holding a plate of eggs and bacon, artfully placed into a smiley face, out to her.

Glimmer looks like she’s about to cry with joy as she takes her plate from him. “I take it back. You’re the best, Bow!” She takes a seat next to Adora and takes a bite, sighing after. “Ah, you make the best eggs. Almost makes me forget about the way my brain feels like it’s melting out of my ears,” she says with a grimace. “Ugh, how’d I even get home anyways? My memory’s pretty hazy…” 

Adora feels herself tense reactively. 

“Uh…” Bow says, carefully, “Catra brought you home,” and Adora doesn’t have to look up to know that he’s eyeing her. She makes sure to take an extra casual sip of her coffee. 

“Oh, right! Catra! I remember now. You know, I thought we wouldn’t get along, but she actually ended up being super nice!” 

Adora can’t stop the scoff that escapes her. “‘Nice’ is not a word that I would use to describe Catra. I don’t even think it’s in her vocabulary,” she says before she can stop herself. 

Glimmer raises an eyebrow at her. “Wait, what? When did you meet her?” 

“Uh,” Adora says, glancing at Bow. 

“They knew each other a long time ago,” Bow says slowly after a pause, like he’s trying to make sure that he’s not overstepping. 

“What? When? What happened?” Glimmer’s previous sad state seems to disappear as she excitedly leans toward Adora in her seat. “Is she your ex? Ooh, was there a dramatic break up? Was there another woman?” She pauses for a dramatic gasp. “Were _you_ the other woman? Oh my god, tell me everything!” 

“What!? No! Glimmer, calm down,” Adora says, trying to stop her brain from short circuiting. 

“Yeah, Glimmer, maybe give Adora some space on this one,” Bow says, timidly, trying to placate Glimmer’s storm of enthusiasm. 

Glimmer whines in response. “What? You can’t just say something like that and then not elaborate! ‘They knew each other a long time ago?’ That’s juicy gossip!” Bow frowns at her, and for a moment he has a striking resemblance to his dads. Glimmer crosses her arms in a huff, but doesn’t prod any further. “Fine. Keep your secrets.” 

Adora sighs and rubs her fingers along the handle of her mug. “It’s just…” she starts. “There’s not much to tell,” she says, not trying to give anything away. Not yet. Everything still feels too raw, too fresh. Like it was only yesterday that they were sophomores in high school, in a screaming match with each other until one of them walked away and... “We were...friends, I guess, and then one day we weren’t. End of story.” 

“Doesn’t sound like ‘end of story,’” Glimmer mutters, but Bow bumps her shoulder and she quiets down. They spend a few seconds in uncomfortable silence, rare among the three of them, before Bow saves them from it. 

“Hey, so I was thinking, since the semester starts in a few days, we could head to campus and find out where our classes are. I do _not_ want a repeat of last semester’s first day,” he finishes with a puff.

Glimmer snickers. “Oh, yeah. That was a disaster. I spent 30 minutes in a geography class wondering when they were gonna start teaching us math.” 

They all laugh at that. 

When they walk out of their apartment, Adora tries not to let her gaze linger on the closed door across the way, and tries not to think about everything that could lay behind it. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The first week of class comes and goes and Adora still hasn’t seen Catra since that night. If Bow and Glimmer hadn’t been there to witness it (and if it hadn’t been so vividly seared into her memory), Adora might think that she had imagined it all in a stress-induced hallucination. But Catra either decided to up and move out, or she’s been avoiding Adora as much as Adora’s been avoiding her, because she is nowhere to be found. Not that Adora is looking for her. She’s not. 

Usually the first week of the semester is a bustle of icebreakers and thoroughly-read syllabi, but Adora just can’t keep Catra out of her head, and it’s starting to affect her focus. She finds herself zoning out in the majority of her classes, lost in some small but significant memory that dug itself out of the hole she tossed it in three years ago to take center stage in her mind’s eye, or turning a million burning questions over in her head (What is she majoring in? Is she still playing softball? Does she still sleep with that little stuffed cat that Adora gave her on her 7th birthday? Does she still like 5 sugars in her coffee? Why did she cut her hair? Is she thinking about Adora as much as Adora is thinking about her?). It doesn’t take long for Bow and Glimmer to notice. They’re at their favorite local pizza joint for lunch, a Best Friends Squad Sunday tradition (Bow’s words) when they can’t stay silent anymore. 

“Okay, Adora, hold on,” Bow says, after Adora asked him to repeat what he said for the 3rd time. “What’s on your mind?”

She’d been staring at her slice of Hawaiian pizza in a daze, wondering if Catra still vehemently believes that pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza or if she had finally seen the light. 

“...Huh?” She says, once she finally processes that, yes, he is talking to her. It takes her another second to process the question. “Uh… What do you mean?” 

“You’ve been acting weird all week!” Glimmer bursts, as if they had been talking about this behind her back and she had just been dying to bring it up. “Usually you’re all ‘quiz me on this syllabus, I need to memorize it by next month,’ but you’ve just been spacing out lately. I mean, you haven’t even touched your pizza, and I’ve seen you eat three slices stacked on top of each other in one bite.” 

“I think what Glimmer means to say is that we’re worried about you, Adora. Something is clearly bothering you, and we want to help. You can talk to us,” Bow says, offering a good-natured smile. 

Adora considers telling them the truth. Telling them everything that happened. Telling them about their childhood together, about their innocent days spent racing each other on the playground, about the middle school bullies they fought on the other’s behalf, about the long, hot afternoons spent at practice together, about the wild freedom they had when they would go on a drive for miles with no destination, about the soft, vulnerable moments they shared when there was no one else around for them to be strong for, about the explosive fights that left each other with scars, about the nights spent feeling cold and empty by herself in her bed, about the mornings that she wakes up with her name dancing on the edge of her tongue, about the loneliness, the anger, the regret, the guilt-

In the end, Adora decides on lying through her teeth. 

“Look, guys, I appreciate the thought, really, but I’m fine!” She gives them a bright, convincing smile. 

Glimmer rolls her eyes. “You’re, like, the worst liar, Adora.” 

“No, I’m not! A-and I’m not lying!” 

Glimmer groans, but then visibly brightens. Adora can practically see the lightbulb flash above her head. “This is about Catra, isn’t it?” 

Adora panics as she stutters through her futile protests. “What!? No! It’s not about- why would you think- I don’t- It’s _not_ about Catra!”

“It is! I knew there was more to it! Bow, I told you-” 

“Glimmer,” Bow puts his hands on Glimmer’s shoulders, and she settles from where she was about to go off on Adora about how _obviously_ it was about Catra. “if Adora says it’s not about Catra, then it’s not about Catra,” Bow says patiently. 

_Thank you, Bow,_ Adora thinks as she sighs with relief. _What would I do without you? I owe you my life._

“That being said, if it _is_ about Catra…” he adds, and his betrayal hits Adora like a truck. _I take it back. Why have you forsaken me, Bow?_

Adora hides her face in her hands. “Ugh, it’s not about Catra,” she lies. 

“Okay, okay,” Bow puts his hands up in surrender, “It’s not about Catra. But if it is-”

“Ugghh!” 

“-I think you should, I don’t know, maybe… try and talk to her?”

_Oh, yeah. If only Catra wouldn’t literally try to scratch my eyes out._ “We’re not friends, I… I barely know her,” she says, and it’s not _technically_ lying, Adora reasons with herself. She doesn’t know her _anymore_. Who knows how much she’s changed since 10th grade? (She thinks, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she wants to find out.) “So can we drop it? Please?” 

“Alright, alright. If you say so. But I think you should still at least consider it.” 

“If I say I’ll talk to her will you leave it alone?” 

Bow and Glimmer nod enthusiastically in response. 

“Fine! I promise that, the next time I see her, I’ll try and talk to her. Happy now?” 

“Very,” Glimmer says smugly. 

Adora hopes that she doesn’t come to regret that promise. Or maybe she hopes she does. _It doesn’t matter. I’ll probably never see her again anyways._

  
  


* * *

  
  


Catra was pissed. 

Not only did she wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but she had done so only to walk into the wrong building halfway across campus. _What kind of person makes their office hours 8-9am on a Monday?_ Okay, maybe it wasn’t the crack of dawn, but it was certainly much earlier than Catra wanted to be awake. Or even alive. 

Now she was huffing it across campus and _seriously, why would you have your office in a totally different building than your classes?_ She’d been running late and hadn’t even had time to grab coffee before she ran to where she _thought_ her professor’s office was, only to realize it was in a building on the other side of campus. She has only 10 minutes to get there before he closes his doors and she can kiss that extra credit goodbye. Not that she even needs extra credit, especially not this early in the semester, but she’d rather do some extra work now so she can slack off later in the semester. If she calculated correctly (and Entrapta double checked, so she knows she did), if she does all of the offered extra credit opportunities, she could completely skip the final exam with no harm done to her grade. And _boy,_ was that an enticing offer. 

Now, however, she’s seriously wondering if it was worth it, lungs burning as she ran. _Maybe I should quit smoking._ But then she thinks of the packs that she had burned through in that week alone and how she almost certainly wouldn’t have made it through without them. She thinks of the bitter taste and the way the smoke fills up her lungs, the thought alone bringing her solace. _Nah,_ she decides. 

She bursts through the door of the building. She needs to get to the 5th floor, and there is absolutely no way she is running up the stairwell. Lucky for her, the elevator was open on the first floor, but she can see the doors beginning to close. She makes a break for it and sticks her arm between the closing doors at the last second. They stop right before crushing her hand, slowly opening back up. Catra sighs in relief. 

But her relief is cut short, because standing inside the elevator is _Adora._

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

The universe must really have it out for Catra, tossing Adora back into her life right as she about to start a new chapter of her life, just to remind her of everything she wants to forget, and then hiding her away for a week, letting Catra think that maybe she won’t actually have to see her again, only to throw her back in her face when she really, _really_ doesn’t have time for it. 

Catra eyes the door to the stairs on the other side of the hall and imagines sprinting up the four flights of stairs as fast as she can. 

She considers it. 

_Fuck it,_ she thinks, and steps into the elevator. 

She pointedly ignores Adora’s stupidly shocked face as she punches the ‘5’ button. The door closes as she reasons her decision with herself. _It’ll be 30 seconds at most. We won’t have to talk. It’s fine._ She makes the mistake of glancing back at her, catching her gaze because Adora’s still staring at her. Adora rips her eyes away, looking at the walls, the ceiling, her hands, anything, before pulling out her phone and twiddling her thumbs on the screen. Catra rolls her eyes. _God, just get this over with._

Just then (because the universe really wants to mess with Catra today), there’s an earsplitting screech as the elevator rattles. Catra grips onto the railing, and then they rumble to a stop. They wait, hoping, praying that the elevator just had a minor hiccup, and would continue on its way. But they still don’t move. 

She really should have taken the stairs. 

“Are you fucking serious!? Goddamnit! Fucking! Stupid! Shitty! Elevator!” Catra accents every word with a hard kick to the elevator doors. 

“Woah, don’t break it even more!” Adora says from behind her. She turns to glare at her. Adora snatches back the arm she had reached out towards her. Smart. 

Catra leans back against the wall and pulls out her phone. 

_To: scorp_

  * _the elevator fucking broke n now im stuck_



_From: scorp_

  * _Oh no!! D: So no extra credit, then?_



_To: scorp_

  * _nope_
  * _and also bc god hates me im stuck in here with adora_



_From: scorp_

  * _Adora is with you???_



_To: scorp_

  * _yea_



_From: scorp_

  * _THAT Adora!????_



Catra scoffs and her long nails click against the screen as she types out her reply. 

_To: scorp_

  * _what other adora do you know yes that adora_



_From: scorp_

  * _Are you gonna talk to her?_



_To: scorp_

  * _fuck no wtf_



_From: scorp_

  * _Oh, okay._
  * _Why not?_
  * _Cause I was thinking maybe it might be good if you two talk_
  * _Not that it’s my place or anything_
  * _You can do whatever you want_
  * _Because you’re Catra and you’re awesome and badass_
  * _But I was just thinking_
  * _You know since we all go to the same school_
  * _And we’re all neighbors_
  * _And her roommates are super nice_



Catra puts her phone on silent and shoves it back into her pocket. Scorpia really doesn’t understand- or maybe she just doesn’t care- that spam texting is not socially acceptable. Especially not with Catra, and _especially_ not when she’s stuck in an elevator with her ex-best friend whom she hasn’t spoken to in years, when she’s absolutely not in the mood for this. 

She settles for brooding in the corner, looking at her reflection in the mirrored walls and _not_ looking at Adora. If God was done fucking with her (which She was probably not, but hey, a girl can dream), they would get out of here in a few minutes.

“Ok, so Google says we should press the emergency button and then someone will come help soon,” Adora says. She peers at the panel next to the door. “Aha! Here it is!” she announces when she finds the button she’s looking for. She presses it, and then it’s blissfully quiet for a few seconds.

“Soooooo,” Adora starts, breaking the silence. 

Catra barely manages to suppress a groan. “Why are you talking to me?” she snaps. 

“What,” Adora says, defensive. “We’re gonna be stuck here a while, I’m just trying to make conversation.” 

“I’m not interested in having a conversation with you,” Catra says as she pulls her phone back out. It’s much easier to ignore her with a screen full of distractions to look at. 

Unfortunately for her, her lockscreen is covered in missed messages from Scorpia. 

_From: scorp_

  * _And Perfuma has a lot of good things to say about her and I feel like she is a really good judge of character_
  * _Speaking of Perfuma, isn’t she just the greatest?_
  * _Yesterday she texted me asking me what my favorite flower was so that she could bring me a bouquet of them. How thoughtful is that?_
  * _Man, she is something, isn’t she?_
  * _Oops, sorry I guess I got distracted a bit_
  * _What was I saying again?_
  * _Oh, right_
  * _If you talk to Adora then maybe we can all be friends!_
  * _And we can hang out at each others’ apartments_
  * _And go on group camping trips_
  * _And have weekly game night!_
  * _Doesn’t that sound fun?_
  * _You guys used to be friends right? Maybe you can be again!!!_



She stops reading the texts because Catra is sure she would rather _eat fucking glass_ than have a weekly game night with Adora and her stupid, prissy friends. When she looks at Adora, she’s pinching her lower lip between her fingers, like she always used to do when she was thinking of what to say, and Catra hates herself for remembering that. 

“What? Spit it out already,” she says, knowing it’d be better to hear her out than look at the stupid face she’s making. 

Adora seems surprised for a second, then pensive, and then she sighs before saying, “Look, we don’t… we don’t have to talk about what happened, or anything that happened before. But I don’t want to just sit here in silence for who knows how long. And I’d… I’d like to try and be friends again… So can we try and talk? Please?” 

Catra knew that whatever Adora was going to say was going to be stupid, but she didn’t think it’d be _that_ stupid. Is she fucking kidding? No contact for three years and now suddenly she wants to be friends again? Catra wants nothing more than to scream in her face and shout all the words she never said to her, all those angry, hurtful speeches she’d readied in her head just in case they ever saw each other again, and now she’s finally standing right in front of her, but she’s looking at her with those big, pleading blue eyes that Catra can’t- _couldn’t,_ she reminds herself- say no to, and they’re both stuck in the same elevator, and the universe keeps pushing them together, and it’s not like there’s anything better to do, and Scorpia said something about game night, or something-

“Ugh! Fine!” Catra swears that she's only doing this to get Scorpia off her back. “Let’s fucking talk or whatever.” 

Of course, Adora lights up like a goddamn christmas tree at that, and Catra has to shut that down before she gets the wrong idea. 

“So-” Adora starts. 

“Hold on,” Catra interrupts, “if we’re gonna do this, I have some ground rules. One, no talking about what happened.” If she had to talk to her, she wasn’t about to dredge up all their shit right now. “Two, this doesn’t mean we’re cool, or that I like you. I _don’t_ like you. And three...” Adora is still looking at her like every word she says is a godsend. Gross. “Three, don’t look at me like that.” 

Adora just nods emphatically before speaking again. “So, how have you been? What have you been doing since- well. What are you studying? When did you transfer here- I mean I assume you transferred ‘cause I never saw you around last year, but I guess you could’ve-” 

“Slow down, Adora. Jesus, one question at a time, okay?” She drags a hand down her face. This was going to be way more exhausting than she thought. 

“Oh, okay, sorry,” Adora says, sheepishly. She seems to actually think about what she wants to say before she speaks again. “Um… so how’s your mom?” 

“Seriously? _That’s_ the question you go with?” 

“Come on, it’s a normal question! A normal small-talky question that normal people ask! Answer the question.” 

Catra shrinks into herself. _Ugh, this is just the worst_. “...That woman is not my mother. I haven’t spoken to her in years.” 

“Oh.” Adora looks thoughtful for a moment. “What happened?” 

Catra shakes her head, clearing her mind. “It doesn’t matter.” But now, of course, Adora is looking at her with _pity,_ and it’s awkwardly silent again, and it’s up to Catra to save the conversation unless she wants to deal with a lecture from Scorpia via 300 separate texts. “What about you, how’s Hope?” she says. “Still got that stick up her ass?” She adds with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. 

Adora gets a wistful look on her face and smiles softly. “Actually, she, uh… she died about a year ago.” 

…

_Fuck._

“Shit, I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I’m-... That must have been… hard…?” She stumbles through her words. _So much for lightening the mood._

“Yeah, it was. Glimmer and her family- they helped a lot. I don’t know what I would do without them…” 

A small part of Catra is grateful that Adora had someone there to help her through what was surely a very sad and very traumatizing event in her life and that she’s the asshole for even bringing it up in the first place and making a stupid joke. Another part of her is mourning Hope herself, since she’s known her basically her whole life. But that still doesn’t quite quell the irrational flame of jealousy that sparks in her stomach. Jealous that Adora even _had_ a semi-decent mother-figure for her to mourn over. Jealous that Adora had someone to be there for her when she was at her lowest point. Jealous that she had found someone else to be there for her and it wasn’t _her._

Catra is distracted from her bitter internal monologue by Adora’s… laughter? 

“What?” She asks, entirely confused. Weren’t they just talking about her dead not-mom? Was she missing something? 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…” Adora says between breathy giggles. “This is so awkward. I guess that’s probably my fault, huh?” 

Catra finds herself cracking a smile. She huffs air out her nose before shrugging. “Nah, it’s my fault, too. Sorry for saying your dead mom- sorry ‘legal guardian’- had a stick up her ass.”

Adora laughs loud and says, “It’s okay. It’s true,” and then looks at Catra with a gentle smile. “Tell me what you’ve been up to.” Catra’s glad for the change in subject. 

“Oh, you know, the usual. I traveled the world, got my dream job, started a band, and I even got engaged!” 

Adora’s eyebrows shoot up and her eyes search for Catra’s left hand. “Really?” 

“No, I went to community college and worked at The Forge for minimum wage. Did you seriously believe me? God, you’re as gullible as I remember.” 

Adora grins as she shoulders Catra. “Shut up. How are you still such a brat?” 

“Eh, years of practice,” Catra replies, and she _doesn’t_ think about how it’s the first time they’ve touched in three years.

Adora’s expression softens so much that Catra almost barfs before she continues. “The Forge, huh? That old cafe we used to go to? I can’t believe it’s still open. It was kind of a dump.”

Catra nods. “Yeah, they got new management or something, and they ‘modernized’ it. More like ruined it, if you ask me. Their awful burned coffee and shitty customer service was part of the charm. Now it’s filled with pretentious assholes who ask for the manager if I don’t put enough oatmilk in their nonfat vegan vanilla latte or whatever. It’s the worst.”

Adora laughs lightly. “Sounds terrible.” 

“It is. The only thing that made it even slightly tolerable was Scorpia, my manager. She can calm down even the craziest customer, it’s kind of impressive.” 

“Scorpia… She’s your roommate, right?” 

“Mhm, her and Entrapta, who was actually the electrician in my old apartment. That place had so many electrical problems that she came over so often and eventually I guess we became friends.” 

“Hey, wait, I know Entrapta!” Adora says. “She went to Bright Moon, right? Her and Bow were in the robotics club together. She graduated early ‘cause she’s crazy smart. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her...” 

“Huh, small world.” Catra knew Entrapta had gone to Brightmoon, but she never mentioned anyone she knew by name. Mostly because she was pretty bad at names. It’s strange to think that even when they couldn’t feel more far apart there was still some invisible string tying them together. 

“Small world,” Adora repeats. “What are you majoring in? I remember you wanted to become a lawyer. Is that still the plan?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Catra replies. She’s a little surprised she remembered. She’s pretty sure she mentioned it exactly once before they stopped talking. “I’m majoring in political science.”

Adora nods. “You were always good at stuff like that. Debates and stuff. I don’t think I ever won an argument with you.” 

Catra snickers. “You definitely didn’t. I’m always right.” Adora laughs in return and Catra pretends that she isn’t actually enjoying this conversation. “What’s your major?”

Adora chuckles awkwardly at that and scratches a spot behind her neck. “Haha, um, well, I’m kinda… between majors right now?”

“‘Between majors?’ What does that even mean?” 

“Well, I applied as an Art History major, but then I switched to Theology, but now I’m thinking of becoming a Astronomy major, or maybe Philosophy and just- I-I don’t really know.” 

Catra stares at Adora for a minute before bursting out in laughter. “You’re such an idiot!” 

Adora grins at her. “Yeah, I know.” 

There’s a beat of silence and Catra is struck by the sheer familiarity of it. It almost feels like no time at all had passed since they were best friends, spending every second together and chatting casually about anything and everything. The thought makes Catra uncomfortable and she falls quiet. 

“I like your hair by the way,” Adora says finally, and she’s looking at her with a warm smile and kind eyes and for some reason Catra feels a lump rise in her throat. 

She had spent years hating Adora, making her out to be the worst thing to have ever happened to her. She spent so much time and energy building up all her pain and anger, just for them to crumble the moment Adora opened her mouth, barreling through the walls she had put up. 

She is saved from having to reply by someone shouting from the outside. “Do not fret! The Fire Department is here to help! Is everyone alright in there?” 

“Yeah, just get us out of here already!” Catra yells back. _Fucking finally._

“Haha! You got it! Sit tight.” 

Soon enough the elevator doors were pried open, and Adora and Catra exited onto the 3rd floor unscathed. Well, physically unscathed. 

“Adora! Even though the circumstance of our meeting is an unfortunate one, it is wonderful to see you!” 

“Seahawk! It’s great to see you, too! Thanks for getting us out of there.” 

Catra quickly makes her escape away from Adora and Seahawk. _Why the fuck does he talk like that? Ugh, whatever._ She heads to the stairwell, ready and willing to just go home and take a nap and _not think_ (about anything, especially not… everything) until her next class. Her professor’s office hours are over by now anyways. 

“Hey, Catra, wait up!” Because Adora just had to chase after her, didn’t she? Can’t she just let her go home and forget this whole thing happened so they could go back to not talking again? That way, Catra can drown anything they talked about or any _feelings_ that got dug up during that conversation in cigarettes and alcohol, just like she wants. 

Still, Catra stops and looks at her. Adora scratches the back of her neck sheepishly, like she hadn’t thought of what she’d wanted to say before she called out.

“Will I… see you again?” she says, hesitantly, like she’s the main character of a goddamn Hallmark movie. 

_Hopefully not,_ Catra almost says, but Adora’s giving her that look again and...

“Probably. We _are_ neighbors, remember?” 

Adora smiles blindingly enough that Catra almost flinches and nods. “Right. I’ll see you around then, _neighbor_.”

“See ya,” Catra shoots before stepping through the doorway and shutting it behind her. She’s _definitely_ not gonna quit smoking. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“One oatmilk vanilla latte for Bow, one iced Americano- with an extra shot of espresso- for Glimmer, and a kale smoothie for myself!” Adora says brightly, placing the drinks in front of their respective owners. Glimmer makes a face at her.

“How can you drink that stuff? It tastes like grass. Why would you make a smoothie out of it?”

“It’s healthy!” Adora takes a long slurp of her drink through her straw and Glimmer grimaces. Adora sticks her tongue out at her. 

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” Bow comments. “Did something happen?” 

Adora almost chokes on her drink. “Um, yeah… I ran into Catra earlier.” 

Glimmer shoots up, but Bow speaks before she can say anything. “You did? Did you talk with her?” 

“Yeah,” Adora says, “I did.” 

There’s a moment of silence as Bow and Glimmer both wait for her to continue. When she doesn’t, Glimmer asks, impatient, “And...?” 

“...And, it was- … fine. Good. We just- we were stuck in the elevator together-” 

“You got stuck in an elevator?”

“-and she kind of got angry at me at first but then I asked her if we could talk and she agreed and we were talking and it was good but then Seahawk showed up and got us out and it was-...” She notices Bow and Glimmer share a look before she finishes, “...good.” 

Whatever silent conversation they were having without her ends when Bow speaks up. “Good. So...you’re cool now?” 

“Well, I don’t know about-”

“Ooh, you should invite her to next week’s game night!” 

_What!?_

“Good idea, Glimmer!” 

_No! Bad idea!_

“Wait, guys-”

“Perfuma’s coming, right? Maybe Scorpia would want to come, too?” 

“Ooh, yeah! And what was their other roommate’s name?”

“It’s actually Entrapta- but I don’t think Catra would want-”

“Entrapta!? From high school?”

“Well- yeah, but Catra-”

“We _have_ to invite her. It’s been so long!”

Adora resigns herself to drinking the rest of her grass-flavored smoothie in silence while her roommates get ahead of themselves planning on how to have the best game night ever (read: torture Catra). _They’re gonna be the death of me._

She needs a cigarette. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is a bit longer than the others and i hope that continues  
> also i've actually planned out the rest of the fic finally instead of writing as i go  
> if everything goes according to keikaku (TL: keikaku means plan) then it'll probably be around 25ish chapter  
> hopefully chapter 4 gets up faster than this one sorry for the wait
> 
> thank you for reading!! as always i love feedback !!!!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to my coping mechanism
> 
> honestly i just really miss being at college so i made this hope u enjoyed look out for more
> 
> yes i changed the name from grudges to the first lyrics of grudges by paramore sorry i wanted to be more pretentious xoxoxo


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